Monday, August 11, 2014

I forgot to add.....

Something happened recently at a show-- actually after a show -- that kind of upset me, and I thought I would share, since this is a blog about being the wife of a performer, and what happened is very much about being the wife of a performer.

I'm often asked if I mind other women paying attention to Kenny, getting their pics taken with him, or even the odd attempt at flirting with him--- and the answer is, no, I don't mind.  It's just a fact of life for a performer, especially a good one, who happens to be pretty cute.  I have an amazing marriage, and a husband who makes sure I know how much he loves me, so I don't have a reason to be bothered by it.  After most shows, Kenny likes to come out to say "hi" to people, and let them know that he appreciates them coming to see him perform.  I'm happy to wait off to the side, or jump in and take a picture for someone if they want-- again, it's part of this life we live, and it is actually fun and something we look forward to -- I love seeing people value what Kenny does; I think he is amazing, and like it when other people feel the same.  Which is why I was so surprised by my reaction to what happened one recent evening after the show. 

At a certain point you just get tired, and you have to wait around while the band tears down and loads up their gear.  On a good night, we are all going to grab a bite to eat afterwards (and I say good, because I LOVE when we get to hang out with the band peeps after a show) before heading home.  On this particular night, it was going to be a really long drive home, during which I would be doing the driving.  So we get to the restaurant but aren't seated yet, and there are several different groups of people leaving the restaurant who saw the show, and stopped to say how much they enjoyed it -- super nice of them, and I know the guys love hearing it -- but you also can maybe see that at this point they have had time to eat and are on their way home, and we aren't even seated yet (and the gear isn't completely torn down and loaded into cars yet, so we still have a long night ahead of us).  Again, it was really nice of them to extend their appreciation, and I encourage anyone reading this that it means a lot to the guys when you voice your enjoyment of the show, even if it's late, so feel free to say hello and that you thought it was a great show -- I in no way want to discourage you from coming over to chat for a bit.  But please, don't do what the last group did -- come to our table as soon as we sit down, go around to each person in our group (including the other wife that they apparently had met before) and voice your appreciation, and then step around the other wife, without even a "hello" or acknowledgement that the wife is sitting there, and move on to the person on the other side of her (aka the husband) and then continue on to the rest of the band members, chatting with each of them.  This is guaranteed to make the ONE person you treated as invisible feel horrible.  Trust me, we get enough of feeling invisible as it is and although we are happy to be on the sidelines for the most part---we do NOT enjoy it when we are sitting down to eat and are finally at that point in the evening when we get to just enjoy each others company.  If the show was that awesome, and you really want to express that to the band while they are about to dine, please do, but don't be rude to those in the band's life -- we are the ones usually at home taking care of the kids while the guys are out shining on stage, and if we get to go out for a show, we want to enjoy our time with them too.  We don't need you to gush over us, but at least give us the courtesy of a "hello" and treat us like we are people too.

OK, off my soap box now.  And to the many, many people who have been so gracious to me and the other wives over the years -- you are the bomb!! 

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